I had one of those dreams, where you have an outcome to a real life issue, you know, where the man you fancy kisses you and says that you are the one, or whatever. These dreams don't always have a good outcome of course. I woke about an hour ago from a really bad dream. I was reading an email from the independent publisher I've sent TMoF to. It began by saying he'd enjoyed reading it and it was well written but "the reason I'm not writing to you wearing my keen hat".... and then was a long detailed breakdown about how the market wasn't ready for this.
I awoke about an hour ago, with a sick feeling in my stomach that has not yet dispersed. I think if some one turns you down, on the whole you don't want a long closely argued email of justification. This is really, currently, barring death and destruction to my family, currently my worst nightmare and I've just had it.
I wonder if I've heaped too much expectation on TMoF. I believe it to be good, commercially the most viable thing I've written, without compromising too much. This inner belief, the gut certainty which one seldom gets, has impelled me to promote it and shout about it more widely amongst my friends than I would have dreamed of doing with previous efforts. And on the whole, I felt I was coasting towards publication in the not too distant future. This dream has shattered those feelings and replaced it with a big dose of "What if I'm wrong? Do I have a plan B for the book? Will I self-publish after a year of getting knocked back? I have hopes from America, the US market might be wider and deeper, but I'd have to remove those sarky remarks about American tourists.
It is also true that TMoF isn't the only pawn in the game, the re-write of the Ash Grove is on the agenda next.so...it wouldn't be the end of all my hopes. Nevertheless, it would have a very negative impact if he turned me down. I'm not saying TMoF is the greatest work of literature ever, or even the supreme commercial novel - only that, for once I know it's good! It really doesn't have anything much wrong with it, and I know that there's a market out there for it. If an enterprising independent publisher who publishes a wide range of titles doesn't pick it up, it would really squash my hopes of a more conventional agent or editor liking it.
I awoke about an hour ago, with a sick feeling in my stomach that has not yet dispersed. I think if some one turns you down, on the whole you don't want a long closely argued email of justification. This is really, currently, barring death and destruction to my family, currently my worst nightmare and I've just had it.
I wonder if I've heaped too much expectation on TMoF. I believe it to be good, commercially the most viable thing I've written, without compromising too much. This inner belief, the gut certainty which one seldom gets, has impelled me to promote it and shout about it more widely amongst my friends than I would have dreamed of doing with previous efforts. And on the whole, I felt I was coasting towards publication in the not too distant future. This dream has shattered those feelings and replaced it with a big dose of "What if I'm wrong? Do I have a plan B for the book? Will I self-publish after a year of getting knocked back? I have hopes from America, the US market might be wider and deeper, but I'd have to remove those sarky remarks about American tourists.
It is also true that TMoF isn't the only pawn in the game, the re-write of the Ash Grove is on the agenda next.so...it wouldn't be the end of all my hopes. Nevertheless, it would have a very negative impact if he turned me down. I'm not saying TMoF is the greatest work of literature ever, or even the supreme commercial novel - only that, for once I know it's good! It really doesn't have anything much wrong with it, and I know that there's a market out there for it. If an enterprising independent publisher who publishes a wide range of titles doesn't pick it up, it would really squash my hopes of a more conventional agent or editor liking it.
