The autumn campaign

It  has been several months now, well actually over a year, since I found myself in the midst of writing a book.  It isn’t lack of ideas, perhaps it’s the anxiety that I am not “doing it right” and that I have no way of understanding how to “correct” myself.  Is that it?   I think really it is “what’s the point?” and the realisation that the books I am writing are not what the market wants, however well written and excellent they are.  And of course as time goes on one begins to think how they might be re-worked and made even more excellent. Perhaps the fact of having written 4 novels in 7 years seemed a bit overwhelming and maybe my brain needs a rest, but frankly I think it is discouragement rather than anything else.  The reason I feel able to write now is because there is interest in one of my books.   

Since the spring, well, since about May, when the energy I first had for The Devil’s Chapel petered out, I have done no real writing.  I messed about with the OAMFD idea and then lost interest.  I fiddled with a few ideas, wrote a few sketches, but nothing caught fire.  I have had endless ideas for work, but nothing that really grabs me.  TDC is listed as this autumn’s project and I think it’s a good one.  I just hope I that this lassitude doesn’t extend beyond our trip to Naples.

It really is quite depressing not writing, however domestic life has been rather demanding over the last few months, and I hate the idea of writing during the summer holidays.  However, all this will change soon I expect, there will be no "summer holidays" to speak of now that Finn has left school, and we can choose where and when to go away.  I will miss the summer holidays - a six week period of feeling at liberty to enjoy oneself, even if one doesn't have the funds to enjoy it completely, or that they are supplemented by AirBnB which requires a certain amount of work.

The feeling of "the autumn term" has always been one that I've liked.  I've postponed it a bit this year, with our trip to Napoli - but when I come back I will be ready for lots of good new things.

All Change

Several things have happened.

Firstly, an enlightened agent has asked for a full read of the book formerly known as The Malice of Fairies
He is still reading it, I will not worry about it until October.

Secondly, I decided not to go to "The Festival of Writing" because the actual cost was £490 plus train fares and taxis and was just too much.  Also my gut was telling me not to go, and the fact that an agent was having a full read was enough to console me.

Thirdly, I decided that even if the agent turned down the book, I would not self-publish in the autumn.  This came about in a conversation with Tara, she said "your heart's not in it" and this is true, it's always been a sort of desperate measure... something I felt I must do to earn some money and justify my existence.

The upshot of these three things is that I have, miraculously, felt I can write again, that it's worthwhile.  I started to look at all my notes on the triple story book (working title The Devil's Chapel) which I started thinking about and researching and writing after my trip to Barfrestone Church at Easter.  I was delighted to find I had the beginnings of a good structure and some nice ideas about what women have wanted throughout the ages.  I'm excited.  I hope I can do it justice, marry it together and make it moving..

I intend to base the carvings on those at Barfrestone, but not to use them literally.  I don't want to get stuck, my ideas about continuing Woden worship are a little weird, but not impossible.  So I want to extrapolate from that.