The autumn campaign

It  has been several months now, well actually over a year, since I found myself in the midst of writing a book.  It isn’t lack of ideas, perhaps it’s the anxiety that I am not “doing it right” and that I have no way of understanding how to “correct” myself.  Is that it?   I think really it is “what’s the point?” and the realisation that the books I am writing are not what the market wants, however well written and excellent they are.  And of course as time goes on one begins to think how they might be re-worked and made even more excellent. Perhaps the fact of having written 4 novels in 7 years seemed a bit overwhelming and maybe my brain needs a rest, but frankly I think it is discouragement rather than anything else.  The reason I feel able to write now is because there is interest in one of my books.   

Since the spring, well, since about May, when the energy I first had for The Devil’s Chapel petered out, I have done no real writing.  I messed about with the OAMFD idea and then lost interest.  I fiddled with a few ideas, wrote a few sketches, but nothing caught fire.  I have had endless ideas for work, but nothing that really grabs me.  TDC is listed as this autumn’s project and I think it’s a good one.  I just hope I that this lassitude doesn’t extend beyond our trip to Naples.

It really is quite depressing not writing, however domestic life has been rather demanding over the last few months, and I hate the idea of writing during the summer holidays.  However, all this will change soon I expect, there will be no "summer holidays" to speak of now that Finn has left school, and we can choose where and when to go away.  I will miss the summer holidays - a six week period of feeling at liberty to enjoy oneself, even if one doesn't have the funds to enjoy it completely, or that they are supplemented by AirBnB which requires a certain amount of work.

The feeling of "the autumn term" has always been one that I've liked.  I've postponed it a bit this year, with our trip to Napoli - but when I come back I will be ready for lots of good new things.