I could be writing, but actually I am not. I feel slightly sick about it all at present. Now think the Seth and Osric idea is stupid - feel that what I have written so far is trite, and that I am not capable of dealing with the psychological issues. Perhaps TRF is the only thing I could manage - we all have a book in us and maybe that was it.
Adam Phillips said this morning "sometimes you want something for such a long time that when you get it, you don't want it any more." Perhaps that is the direction I am heading too. Long-desired objects are sickening and failing before my eyes. What is wrong with me? I can't change direction again - I need to persist. I wonder whether I should go back to writing Conscience? It had certain benefits - a detachment, a lack of sex scenes. Again, it requires research - but that shouldn't be a problem. Arrrgh, I haven't felt this uncertain or unsettled about writing for ages. Maybe I should console myself by looking at TRF again.
Adam Phillips said this morning "sometimes you want something for such a long time that when you get it, you don't want it any more." Perhaps that is the direction I am heading too. Long-desired objects are sickening and failing before my eyes. What is wrong with me? I can't change direction again - I need to persist. I wonder whether I should go back to writing Conscience? It had certain benefits - a detachment, a lack of sex scenes. Again, it requires research - but that shouldn't be a problem. Arrrgh, I haven't felt this uncertain or unsettled about writing for ages. Maybe I should console myself by looking at TRF again.
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